Are you caught in the happiness trap?

Tracey L. Briggs, MA

Supervisor, Employee Wellness

The famous 1988 song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin, is a feel-good, lighthearted tune that makes us all want to strive for happiness. After all, happiness tends to be one of the most sought-after goals in life. But have you ever stopped to think about whether happiness is what you should be striving for?

Searching for happiness can promote a more mono-focused view by accentuating tendencies to seek out pleasures at the expense of others. Self-centeredness, apart from not serving others well, can also make you lonelier. By focusing supremely on making yourself happy, we forget the basic principle of happiness, which is to look outside ourselves for true belonging.

The more we value happiness, the more likely it is that we will be disappointed with our current situation in life. Even further, the more desperate we become about finding happiness, the more we are likely to experience symptoms of depression. The idea that we should be searching for happiness can highlight the absence of it in our lives.

Apart from happiness not being good for the pursuers, it is often inappropriate to talk about happiness when interacting with people suffering extreme poverty, experiencing political injustice, living through devastating conflicts or facing natural disasters. To put it simply, being happy is not a priority in these situations. Advocating for initiatives to increase happiness can lead to people feeling alienated and misunderstood. In traumatic times, exhorting people to “be happy” can come across as tone deaf or lacking in compassion.

Improve Your Wellbeing Instead

So how do we balance self-centeredness in the search for self-development?

Focus on your wellbeing. Here are five ways to improve it:

1. Ensure that you can meet the basic needs of yourself and those you care for.
2. Allocate regular time for pleasurable activities, such as a walk, playing a game or watching or listening to something you enjoy.
3. Invest in building and maintaining positive relationships. Meet with friends, keep in contact with family members, nurture your work relationships.
4. Stay connected with what makes your life meaningful. For example, supporting a movement, or committing fully to your personal or professional role.
5. Make things better for your community by, say, advocating for better services, volunteering in your community, or challenging unfair practices.

Rather than focusing on the narrow vision of pursuing happiness, consider leaning into improving your wellbeing, which runs deeper than simple gratification and includes connections with people, life’s purpose, a sense of accomplishment and self-worth, by enrolling in the Working With Positivity course offered by Benefits & Employee Wellness.

Register for the fall Working With Positivity course.