Published to Newsletter on Oct 21, 2025
It is Ok to Feel “Just Ok” During the Holidays
Did you know that feeling bad about feeling good is quite common? This phenomenon is called a meta-emotion – a feeling that occurs in response to other feelings. According to a study published in the American Psychological Association journal Emotion, feeling guilty about experiencing joy, happiness, or wellness during difficult or challenging times is a negative-positive meta-emotion. These feelings often surface around the holiday season and are significant because they are linked to depression and can serve as indicators of our level of emotional awareness.
Meta-emotions can significantly impact our mental health. Denying or not accepting emotions is linked to negative outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and decreased overall well-being. If you see a lot of fear, anger, and pain and recognize that what is happening around you doesn’t match your experience, you might think, ‘There must be something wrong with me’. Add these emotions to the upcoming holiday season, and it can lead to added stress and depression.
Recognize that when we try to push away our feelings, they start bubbling up in odd places. Problems may arise in our personal relationships and work interactions. It requires emotional intelligence to realize that we can, and need to, feel what we feel. Use the following steps to acknowledge your awareness of your emotions, and if you find you need help, reach out to those who can lend a hand.
Self-Help Steps:
Normalize Feelings
It’s important to normalize negative emotions and to acknowledge our feelings. Studies show that suppressing emotions can lead to physical health problems and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Discuss these feelings with people you trust.
Open discussions allow you to acknowledge that you are fortunate and grateful. On the flip side, it can also be an emotional boost for you to support your friends and loved ones who may be struggling. You may even take it one step further by asking yourself, “How can I be of help to other people?”
Seek Out Additional Resources.
If you need more than these self-help steps, UNM has support for you. The UNM Mental Health Resources webpage offers many options, including Counseling, Assistance & Referral Service (CARS), Therapy Assistance Online (TAO), UNM Women’s Resource Center Counseling, and the AGORA Crisis Center.
